 Surviving
Significant Loss
We live by losing and leaving and letting go. And sooner or later, with
more or less pain, we must all come to know that loss is indeed a lifelong
human condition. -- Judith Viorst
Life changes that involve significant loss--the death of a loved one,
divorce, career crises, decline in health, or other irreversible and unwanted
situations--evoke a natural emotional and behavioral response called grief.
Making it through the grieving process--learning how to live with a significant
loss--necessitates hard and very often painful emotional work over a period
of many months or even years.
When someone is permanently deprived of something they love, the loss
can affect their very identity, for instance, how they perceive their
role as a husband, wife, parent, son or daughter. Often the loss brings
a sudden and unsettling change in life’s basic circumstances (such
as a marked decline in financial means, having to live alone, or not being
able to continue to live in a familiar setting) that can provoke extreme
levels of anxiety or depression.
Throughout the grieving process, it’s important that the individual
not judge themselves harshly or measure their experience against what
they think they “should be” feeling or how they imagine others
expect them to be acting. There is no one way to grieve—and certainly
no one right way. People’s coping strategies vary and can be influenced
by many factors that are exclusive to each situation. In addition to cultural
and religious beliefs, these factors can include the nature of the attachment
to the lost loved one, the circumstances of the loss (for example, was
it unexpected, the result of violence, or the culmination of a long illness),
previous experiences with loss, and the availability of others to extend
caring support.
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